Happy November folks!
And another one bites the dust. I swear these months fly by faster than I can plan the next one. But I guess that might be the issue in the first place – needing to have some sort of plan of what to do next.
This past month, I wrote my board exam. An exam I was highly confident about until I was a week out. Then, I found myself mirroring my undergrad days of consistent procrastination, heightened emotions (mainly overwhelmingness), and crunch studying. But 15 minutes into my study plan, I remembered why I felt confident in the first place. I knew what had to be done; I just hadn’t informed my anxiety of my plan. Nonetheless, the stress and burnout of juggling it all was beginning to catch up. Thankfully, I had the foresight to book a tiny little getaway to celebrate afterward.
My 5 days in Banff were straight out of a movie scene. Mesmerizing views, delicious food, the fresh air my lungs have been craving, walking with wolves and conversations that reminded me why travelling is so important to me. Every time I’ve travelled somewhere, near or far, I describe my experience as “this is exactly where I need to be and the person I want to become,” and without failure, I start thinking about how I could possibly move there. Why?
For me, travelling isn’t just about leaving the place I came from and learning about a new culture that I am going to. It’s a big part of it, but it’s more existential than that – it is a reminder for my high-functioning ass that a whole world is living and functioning without me and my stressors. My impact is so small that the only one it truly debilitates is me. But yet, at the same time, my existence happens to be now. That at any point in time or any place in the world, I am here. Now, sure, this may sound very grandiose, but I did say existential.
I become the best version of myself when I leave my daily stresses behind, even for a few days. Now, if that isn’t enough insight for me to change and be a little closer to that version, I don’t know what it is. But I’ll keep you updated on how that goes.
