This month was a crazy one … I guess a better word choice would be that it was colourful.
This was the first month that I went completely independent with the clinic. A dream come true in many aspects and something I will always be internally grateful for. But I won’t lie and say it was smooth sailing. On the contrary, there were times when the stress was at its all-time high, when my motivation had decided to go on vacation without telling me, and that time to spend with loved ones seemed slimmer and slimmer each week. Now, it would seem like this might not be the month to give advice … so I won’t. But I will tell you a quick story.
One afternoon, I was driving to someone’s house. It was one of those rare days in April when the weather was exactly what we needed. The warmth from the sun tingled on my skin, and the breeze was cold, but the air was warm. I had the right playlist with the perfect song to enjoy this drive. I was happy.
And then, without missing a heartbeat, I remember thinking, “I wonder when the shoe is going to drop.” With such ease, I called on misery as if I was expecting it to arrive already. Internally grateful for all the fantastic things happening, but also wondering in the same thought that this will not last for too long. I sat at a red light that was taking unusually much longer than it does on any other day, recalling why I even said that. Then I laughed.
Why, you may ask? This is precisely what we all do, what all my clients come to me with. In our most distressed times, we list all the emotional events and give time to the positivity for maybe a minute. But when positivity is present, we pay more attention to the impending doom. But that is okay. When we have lived our lives in an anxious state, we rarely know how to enjoy the moment. It doesn’t make us delusional or unhealthy; it just reminds us that happiness is not a state that will come easy but a state of mind we can fight for.
As Timothée Chalamet once said, “you can be the master of your fate and you can be the captain of your soul but you have to realize that life is coming from you and not at you. And that takes time.”
