Boy, have I missed this. In the time when I needed to put my racing thoughts onto some sort of release, I found myself slipping into a darkness of patience and confusion. I think there is no better way to describe this current feeling (or state of mind – I haven’t entirely decided if it’s fleeting or not) than feeling trapped in a glass bubble, knowing worth only the slightest change could make a significant difference, but not wanting to get hurt by the breaking glass.
It’s quite a nuanced feeling when the motion of walking on eggshells begins to happen within. Hiding behind the truth of what our current state of mind looks like because reality shows otherwise. Of course, in this melancholy moment, as most tortured souls do, we find peace in the arts. This message is not here to provide a glimpse of the emotional struggles of someone you might not be invested in but to share that our fear of the perception of pain is real. It is scary. It is shattering. But in a twisted sense, it is also beautiful. If we can love someone or something that doesn’t give the same love back, imagine what that love would look like with the potential of being loved back the way we need. That’s why words hold a different meaning, the music flows poetically, colours don’t seem so muted, and the thoughts that were scary once upon a time lead to beautiful actions. The same girl trapped under the glass bubble slowly realizes that glass is not a clear picture but a distorted reality.
