A true life that is worth living includesvarious behaviours and attitudes that allowindividuals to become the version ofthemselves they want to be. An exploration of“values,” “pleasure,” and “mastery” describemuch of the “stuff” that makes life worthliving. This process can help us come up withtangible goals to move us toward the thingsthat are most important to us.
There is a question I always ask each of myclients in their first session. For my clientsreading this, you will quickly know which oneI am talking about, and for any new readers,try to answer it as honestly as you can. Thisquestion is entirely open-ended, with no rightor wrong answer. Well, technically, thereisn’t. But the question follows as …
Who are you?
Open-ended right? Now, often, one will talk about who they used to be or who they want to be. Rarely does someone describe themselves as they are now. Which is okay and gives me the insight of where to start. But how can one answer that question and be okay with the answer? Be content in their life, whatever it looks like, and know they are fulfilled.
Our passions.
It seems simple, but it’s a process that leads to many hard and soft skills that allow an individual to step outside of their comfort zone and explore the projects they only imagined in their wildest dreams. There comes a time in everyone’s life when joining a ballroom class, picking up a paintbrush, participating in a book club or challenging ourselves in a language becomes more about resources, time, and the perception of others and how it all might look. This is also when that same individual has been feeling down, more agitated, less willing to feel better, or constantly running into an “I don’t know” spell when trying to think of things to do.
It is understandable to act selflessly for our families or students not having enough time between juggling a full course load and a job. But those sacrifices mean nothing if you cannot be the best version of yourself for those people, jobs, and grades. Contrary to what society paints out, choosing you is not always selfish; sometimes, it is needed. Inspiration is important. Creativity is powerful. Knowledge is unlimited. Movement is necessary. If one can watch a movie, listen to a song, pass by the gym, see a painting, and whisper to oneself, “I’ve always wanted to try that,” then life becomes your oyster. It was never about what hobby one chooses but how much of it was a dream.
When there is a place where you can be you, it transforms completely how you view life. It is no longer a world that is passing by or a life that has no spark, but a life where if you have a dream, you have the capability of making it come true. You become excited, more open, more willing. And willingness is priceless. Once you are willing to challenge yourself –even if it is resuming an old hobby or starting a new journey of passions – that willingness allows you to take steps in your life that turn an average day into a day of wonder. And you no longer are looking at yesterday or tomorrow, but what today offers. You become who you are by doing what you want and what you see of yourself.
Finding a balance of goals centred on values, pleasure, and mastery is usually best to feel more consistently engaged and happy in the world. How that balance looks for you will be unique.
Don’t underestimate the solution of a good hobby. It can easily bring all the wonders of the world to your footsteps. It’s all about how you want to see it.
Originally published on December 04, 2023.
