I once came across this quote: “we fear what we love, and what we love, we are fearful of.” That made me stop in my tracks instantly. It transformed so many emotions so quickly that it took me this long to sit down and write my honest appreciation of this statement. Profoundly and artistically described, I think this quote precisely represents humanity’s constant contradiction. It’s a paradox. We want to be happy but think of things that make us sad. We say we are lazy yet driven to be ambitious and productive constantly. We claim not to like parts of ourselves but also preach the love we have for who we are. We say we do not care, but really, we do. If you can’t figure yourself out, there is no way anyone else can.
I remember that day I read that quote; the first thing that came to my mind was water. Now, water, for me, is a paradox. Any body of water is something I am scared of.Hell, there is a piece of me that has dark thoughts when I have my eyes shut in the shower, and the water dripping on top of my head with intense pressure leads to me skipping a breath. I can take a step away, but the fact that even though there is no notion of drowning at that moment, my lungs do not communicate with my brain. Bodies of water, especially the bigger ones, are vast; they are unknown. Water has so much power that we forget it is one of the fiercest elements. With time and consistency, it has eroded natural landscapes to what we know and adore. It’s patient. It’s silent. It’s home to so much we do not know – and that scares me.
Now, the paradox here is that water is also where I find the most peace. The place that holds a lot of fear is also the place where my thoughts are calm, my breathing is regulated, and I feel the version of myself I am always striving to be. Whether it is the wind in my hair, the company I keep near water, the sand around my toes, or the smell of all beautiful fragrances, being near water is serenity. It rejuvenates me.
So how can one thing cause so much fear, while bringing the peace I crave?
The conclusion I have come to is that our fears are not singular, but our love is. Interesting. Humanity is constantly at odds, not because it doesn’t have the capacity to know who it truly is but more so because the influence of who it should be is much more significant. There are more avenues for us to fear than there are to love. And because love is a much more powerful, silent, patient and still emotion, much like water, it will be derived from the places we do not want to look.
We often discuss resilience. This notion is that no matter what life throws at us, we have enough trust in our capability to overcome it while feeling its consequences. The paradox here is that you can do all the healing and learning you want; you can only test that resilience in an opportunity of risk.
So, if you are afraid of what you love but love what you are afraid of, then you must embrace it. You have to step into it. You have to learn from it and also fall with it. Become a part of the tide so you can experience its tranquillity while overcoming its haunt.
Originally published on July 01, 2024.
