My most profound talent is my ability to reflect and put topics of thought together. Sometimes, I even surprise myself at the cohesiveness of the words and ideologies. Where it comes from, primarily likely pain, and the way I have discovered to cope with it – intellectualize it the best I can. But to my core, I am an emotional person. You add that with the knowledge I have attained through study and practice, I think I’m left with some fabulous ingredients to make a pretty dope recipe.
So here is today’s recipe:
I think there is a relationship between our capability and the expectations we place. When things are rough and not going the way we hoped, we often think about how we got into this position in the first place or what we could have done to counteract it. But our capability is more than just the word ‘can.’ Can you make unhealthy decisions, prioritize your self-care, not set boundaries, and continue to self-isolate? Of course, you might have already been doing some, if not all. But can you also identify your needs and wants and communicate them healthy, increase your self-awareness, and set healthy parameters for yourself and others around you. Of course! This is because our capability is like a pendulum. If it is swinging one way, it will swing the other way. The effort that goes into this is being aware that for some time, it has been more in the space of ‘can’t,’ and now I have to bring it up, or that is going between can/cannot too quickly, and we have to slow it down.
The capriciousness that comes with our capability—within or with others—is that one will have more. When we look at a time in our lives filled with sorrow and pain, it seems that nothing will change in our capability in question if we do not do something at this time. But you can. The key here is to step back and understand if this moment is worth winning in the long run. If your capability decides you can let it go, then we do.
Simple enough. So far, we have learned that our capability is a strength. This is where it gets tricky because when we decide to let go of whichever need or want in the current moment, we set a definite expectation, sometimes communicated and often subconsciously. This expectation is so specific and detailed that we begin to ridicule our worth when it does not come to fruition the way we hoped. Our capability. Our stupidity of letting something go when it meant something to us. But our capability is not in here; our expectations are. Why did I need to set this expectation, and what was I hoping to achieve within myself if this expectation came true.
When we decide we can do something or, more so, let go of something that we hold near and dear to ourselves, we say that we will give up control now. The catch is that we want it back in a specific way. And when we don’t get it back the way we want, we feel lost and powerless. The decision leaves us thinking we need to make the right decision, leading to a spiral of negativity and self-doubt. Your capability is not in question.
Originally published on June 02, 2024.
